I read the following story from the web and I find it pretty touching.
This is a story about a boy who likes a gal. Let's just call them Calvin and Ester. Both of them are international students studying in University of Oregon, which is half an hour drive from Eugene, the capital city of Oregon, USA. They met through a language exchange program organized by the university with the objective of getting interested local students to learn a new language of their choice from the international students. It wasn't love at first sight between the both of them; they were just glad that they have finally met another person from the same country.
One evening, Calvin was looking for a dinner companion and he thought of asking Ester. That was the beginning of their romance; not quite actually. Calvin felt very comfortable in talking to Ester as they can see eye to eye in majority of the issues. Ester was also a great listener and she reciprocated at the right moment. Following that, they had another dinner date the following day after Calvin went to hike with a local student at Boardman State Park. That night, both Calvin and Ester had a great chat after dinner. Calvin returned back to hostel that night with a strange feeling - slowly but surely, he realized that he has developed feelings for Ester. However, he tried to hide it since he already has a gf. Talking about his gf, he almost never had a major quarrel with her and there is just something amiss in their relationship which he can't identify. He confessed to his gf about this and to his astonishment, his gf also find the both of them incompatible as there are some major characteristics that she dislikes about him. They had a peaceful break-up following that.
Shortly after that, together with a group of friends, Calvin and Ester went to New York City to tour for a week. It was at that time that Calvin got to know Ester more and when he was pretty sure that Ester having a liking for him too, he confessed to her. It was mutual and they got together, at least, for a while.
The main problem is, Ester is a Christian but Calvin isn't; he's a free-thinker. Although Ester doesn't mind a non-Christian bf (and husband eventually), she's facing pressure from her church and friends. She has to make a decision between a man and God eventually. At the end of the day, she gave up the man because according to the Bible, it is not right to marry a non-Christian.
If you are the gal, will you do the same? If you are the guy, will you leave her so that she doesn't sin?
For me, if I am the gal, I'll ask myself whether he's a truly nice guy and eventually a responsible and caring husband/father (of course whether I truly like the guy and what I like about him, whether I can stand his flaws etc). I won't be limiting myself to select my spouse based on religion alone as I believe that, similar to sports, academic stuff and friendship, love is without borders, race, religion etc. I know that's kinda lame since many will argue that if both are in the same religion, they can share "spiritual" things, which is one level up from most tangible stuff. I do agree but it really depends on what one is looking for in life. Recalling what dear Weng Chun said once upon a time:
"...it is foolish to think that the world has that much of a significant in your world when it is your world that really matters... gee… going back to that same point. but perhaps i tried to mean that even when one considers the world, he sees it within his own world's perspective, hence one cannot escape from viewing things "outside of oneself" - hence we should recognise the fact that an individual is bound to his world... that everyday things he sees and touches and that is what is real to him. So instead of comparing his world to something which is non-existent (the omniscient view of the world being impossible for any man to experience) he should try to improve his own world and understand that, that is what he has contact and direct effect on..."
It's kinda meaningful; of course it's not without its flaws but in short, it really depends on what one is looking for in life.
If I am the guy, will I leave her so that she doesn't sin? It's the same scenario as the movie titled "英雄" which states that "...an individual's suffering is insignificant compared to that of the world..." Perhaps I can argue the reason why I leave her is because I love her; my individual sadness is nothing as compared to the greater world. But hey, how many of us can hold on to this perspective for long? Afterall, what we see in the greater world is still being viewed from our little paradise. I think there's no end to this.
At the end of the day, you'll not know the outcome until you try. Quoting from the legendary Canadian-American ice hockey player Wayne Gretzky: "I always go to where the hockey puck is going to be, not where it is; you miss 100% of the shots you never take."
That's my take in this issue.
This is a story about a boy who likes a gal. Let's just call them Calvin and Ester. Both of them are international students studying in University of Oregon, which is half an hour drive from Eugene, the capital city of Oregon, USA. They met through a language exchange program organized by the university with the objective of getting interested local students to learn a new language of their choice from the international students. It wasn't love at first sight between the both of them; they were just glad that they have finally met another person from the same country.
One evening, Calvin was looking for a dinner companion and he thought of asking Ester. That was the beginning of their romance; not quite actually. Calvin felt very comfortable in talking to Ester as they can see eye to eye in majority of the issues. Ester was also a great listener and she reciprocated at the right moment. Following that, they had another dinner date the following day after Calvin went to hike with a local student at Boardman State Park. That night, both Calvin and Ester had a great chat after dinner. Calvin returned back to hostel that night with a strange feeling - slowly but surely, he realized that he has developed feelings for Ester. However, he tried to hide it since he already has a gf. Talking about his gf, he almost never had a major quarrel with her and there is just something amiss in their relationship which he can't identify. He confessed to his gf about this and to his astonishment, his gf also find the both of them incompatible as there are some major characteristics that she dislikes about him. They had a peaceful break-up following that.
Shortly after that, together with a group of friends, Calvin and Ester went to New York City to tour for a week. It was at that time that Calvin got to know Ester more and when he was pretty sure that Ester having a liking for him too, he confessed to her. It was mutual and they got together, at least, for a while.
The main problem is, Ester is a Christian but Calvin isn't; he's a free-thinker. Although Ester doesn't mind a non-Christian bf (and husband eventually), she's facing pressure from her church and friends. She has to make a decision between a man and God eventually. At the end of the day, she gave up the man because according to the Bible, it is not right to marry a non-Christian.
If you are the gal, will you do the same? If you are the guy, will you leave her so that she doesn't sin?
For me, if I am the gal, I'll ask myself whether he's a truly nice guy and eventually a responsible and caring husband/father (of course whether I truly like the guy and what I like about him, whether I can stand his flaws etc). I won't be limiting myself to select my spouse based on religion alone as I believe that, similar to sports, academic stuff and friendship, love is without borders, race, religion etc. I know that's kinda lame since many will argue that if both are in the same religion, they can share "spiritual" things, which is one level up from most tangible stuff. I do agree but it really depends on what one is looking for in life. Recalling what dear Weng Chun said once upon a time:
"...it is foolish to think that the world has that much of a significant in your world when it is your world that really matters... gee… going back to that same point. but perhaps i tried to mean that even when one considers the world, he sees it within his own world's perspective, hence one cannot escape from viewing things "outside of oneself" - hence we should recognise the fact that an individual is bound to his world... that everyday things he sees and touches and that is what is real to him. So instead of comparing his world to something which is non-existent (the omniscient view of the world being impossible for any man to experience) he should try to improve his own world and understand that, that is what he has contact and direct effect on..."
It's kinda meaningful; of course it's not without its flaws but in short, it really depends on what one is looking for in life.
If I am the guy, will I leave her so that she doesn't sin? It's the same scenario as the movie titled "英雄" which states that "...an individual's suffering is insignificant compared to that of the world..." Perhaps I can argue the reason why I leave her is because I love her; my individual sadness is nothing as compared to the greater world. But hey, how many of us can hold on to this perspective for long? Afterall, what we see in the greater world is still being viewed from our little paradise. I think there's no end to this.
At the end of the day, you'll not know the outcome until you try. Quoting from the legendary Canadian-American ice hockey player Wayne Gretzky: "I always go to where the hockey puck is going to be, not where it is; you miss 100% of the shots you never take."
That's my take in this issue.
posted by CS at
1:16 AM
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